Chapter 114: Longing for What Can’t Be Reached

2022-05-20

Here’s another story.

This one starts two weeks ago.

That afternoon, Chen Lin and Liu Feier were sitting together.

Chen Lin was trying out one of Liu Feier’s lipsticks. As he applied it he asked, “Are you really set on this? Ready to leave? What’s so bad about your life now? Do you know how many people out there would kill for the life you have? High-end cosmetics, food most people can’t even dream of tasting.”

Liu Feier sat on the edge of the bed, dodging the question with one of her own. “You spent the whole night under my bed yesterday. Weren’t you tired?”

Chen Lin shook his head, replying, “A few years back, I slept in sewers, in garbage pits—I’ve slept everywhere. If your father hadn’t taken me in, I’d still be living meal to meal, no clue where the next one would come from.”

“But you used to…” Liu Feier started to say, trailing off halfway.

Chen Lin immediately finished for her: “Yeah, I killed seven people. At first, I thought life had no meaning at all. Think about it—people like me, what kind of life do they lead? They survive by being ridiculed.”

“So I killed them,” Chen Lin said with a grin. “On my eighteenth birthday, I ended them. Looking back, I shouldn’t have done it that way. In fact, I should’ve done it before turning eighteen.”

Liu Feier studied the woman in front of her, a little unnerved by her manic edge, not quite sure what to say.

Chen Lin’s smile faded, turning into something bitter. “My plan back then was simple: kill them, then end it all. But I got caught. That meant the rest of my life would be spent locked up. But that was something I just couldn’t accept. In that moment, I finally understood—I hated being confined more than anything, let alone dying.”

“Maybe each person can only choose their own path in life,” Chen Lin went on, a far-off look in her eyes. “If I could do it over, I’d never have killed them. But that’s how it is—make one decision for someone else, and you might end up with results you never wanted.”

She looked Liu Feier in the eye. “Are you really sure about this?”

Liu Feier didn’t hesitate. “I’ve been ready for this since I was sixteen. And we won’t hurt anyone. I’ll pretend to be kidnapped, ask Liu Yinyan for a pile of money—enough to run away with my father. A few million is nothing to Liu Yinyan.”

Chen Lin sighed. “Shouldn’t you talk it over with your father first? Doing this behind his back, do you really think he’ll go along with it?”

Liu Feier just smiled. “I know he’d never agree. That’s exactly why I have to do it this way. What’s the point of loving someone if you have to hide forever, if you can’t be together openly? Besides, look at Liu Yinyan—he’ll probably live to ninety. By then, I’ll be forty myself!”

Chen Lin looked like she wanted to argue, but the determination in Liu Feier’s eyes killed any hope of changing her mind.

After a long pause, Chen Lin finally said, “Alright. If you’re set on this, we’ll move soon. I’ve already paid off a security guard; when we make our move no one will realize what happened. Once we’re clear, I’ll call Liu Yinyan and demand thirty million.”

“Thank you, Chen Lin. Truly.” Liu Feier’s gratitude was heartfelt.

Chen Lin shook her head, her voice flat. “Don’t thank me. Just promise not to regret this like I did. Liu Yinyan actually treats you well—haven’t you noticed?”

Liu Feier fell quiet. What she really wanted was an apple, but Liu Yinyan gave her an entire orange grove.

Later that afternoon, Chen Lin led Liu Feier off the balcony.

According to Chen Lin’s plan, if a security guard suddenly went missing it would be flagged as a suspected disappearance. She would then call Liu Yinyan, making him believe she’d taken Liu Feier. Once they got their hands on the thirty million, Liu Feier and her biological father would disappear together, while Chen Lin would keep running for the rest of her days.

Lin Dafa was supposed to pick them up.

But Chen Lin never imagined that, waiting at the rendezvous, was a different group altogether.

This group was even more ruthless than Chen Lin. Not only did they kidnap Lin Dafa, they killed Chen Lin too.

They smeared dog blood on Chen Lin’s lipstick, sending clues to us in their own twisted way. Even that underground parking garage—where Chen Lin once went looking for beef tapeworms—they left a car behind on purpose, stuffing the wheel wells with plant leaves only found around the villa.

From there, everything fell into place.

Step by step, we stumbled right into this other group’s trap. They kidnapped Liu Feier instead of Chen Lin and took Lin Dafa’s daughter as well.

Liu Feier’s original plan was to run away with her real father, but fate threw her into the hands of true criminals. All the while, she believed her birth father knew nothing.

But if anyone could have leaked their plans, it had to be him. There simply wasn’t anyone else.

For days, not a call came in. They were busy, tying up loose ends for Liu Feier’s future.

They used Lin Dafa’s daughter as leverage, forcing him to work for them. They deliberately fed us clues, set him up to be caught, even led us straight to the factory where Liu Feier and Liu Yinyan were held—all part of a careful scheme.

That’s why we never understood their true intentions. Early on, they were terrified of exposure; later, it seemed like they were leaving us breadcrumbs. It all made sense—there were two separate groups behind the case, and Wu Zui’s gang was by far the cruelest.

After that, we know how the rest played out.

Wu Zui’s target was never Liu Feier; it was Liu Yinyan all along. Take out a major figure like him, and chaos would erupt in Dongxing City. Wu Zui’s crew seemed to revel in dragging powerful people down from their pedestals.

With that, the case was finally clear.

At the start, it was Liu Feier’s scheme; at the end, Wu Zui masterminded the plot to kill Liu Yinyan. Wu Zui managed to tie both cases together seamlessly. If not for a lucky hunch, we’d never have uncovered the truth.

Liu Feier, missing a finger, clung tightly to her father—who wept openly. He had no idea what sacrifices she’d made just to be with him. She gave up her home of twenty years, left her mother behind.

And the most lost of all was probably Liu Yinyan, facing the ruin of a lifetime’s effort in an instant.

“They say at fifty you understand fate. But I’m seventy, and I still can’t fathom the hearts of people—so what hope is there to grasp fate itself?”

Liu Yinyan told me that one night. His face, his every gesture, the sorrow and weariness in his voice—those words are etched in my memory.

Three people died: an innocent security guard, Chen Lin, and Liu Yinyan—the leading light of the investment world.

And Liu Feier herself lost her middle finger.

Maybe Chen Lin had it right—when you make choices for others, it almost always backfires.

I didn’t ask Liu Feier if she regretted it, nor if she felt guilty. I didn’t ask her father what he really thought either.

Sometimes you don’t need to pry open someone’s wounds. I’m no doctor, and I have no interest in playing Wu Zui’s secret games. Everyone should have their own secrets, buried in their own hearts, whether they bring joy or suffering.

The three of us stepped out of the cake shop. That’s when Liu Feier finally broke down, sobbing so hard it seemed to tear her apart.

Not even in the face of death had she ever cried so bitterly.

To know whether you’ve really felt something, you have to look inside yourself.

“So that’s it?” Gu Chen stared at me in a daze. “Aren’t we supposed to take her in?”

I shook my head, glancing up at the pitch-black sky. “There’s no need. What Liu Feier’s done… she’s paid more than enough. Taking her back wouldn’t mean anything. All I ever wanted was the truth. Yet sometimes the truth is—once you learn it, you wish you hadn’t.”

“What about you?” I looked over at Song Zhe. “It’s best if you don’t spread this around.”

Song Zhe said nothing, just nodded silently. I could tell that having an image he once admired shattered so completely had hit him hard.

“Should we head back now?” Gu Chen asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. Let’s go. I’m exhausted—I just want a good night’s sleep.”

Sitting in the car, I watched the city blur past—the shops, the pounding music from loudspeakers out front making you want to move, people streaming up and down the street and cars zipping by with horns blaring.

Dongxing City is a bustling metropolis where everyone is searching for their own place in the world. People work tirelessly for their future, for the life they want. But in all that struggle, what is it they’re really chasing? Why do so many have to go to such extremes to get what they want?

Or is it that once we have what we wanted, we immediately start wanting something else?

Gu Chen flicked on the car radio, and a song played softly.

Don’t assume I know it all

Everything, everything is done for me

Why is it so grand

Yet I can’t feel it at all

How nice it would be to love without a single word

Only once can I recall really being close

Just the two of us, riding a bike

Your arms wrapped around me from behind

It’s so hard to let go, I just want to hold on tighter

Life feels like a vast wilderness

If only I could lean on my father’s shoulder like a child

Who would want to get off

…

Did Liu Yinyan really not know Liu Feier wasn’t his biological daughter? Or, after twenty years, did he just come to see her as his own?

I honestly have no answer.

But Liu Yinyan is a sharp, decisive man—maybe, just maybe, he always knew.