Chapter 243: The Mystery Behind My Origins

2022-05-20

Standing in this empty house, I don’t know why, a wave of sadness suddenly washed over me. The place felt so hollow I almost wanted to cry. There wasn’t even a bed in the bedroom. Honestly, it looked like a home someone had abandoned. There wasn’t a single chair to sit on.

I couldn’t guess what Zhao Mingkun was thinking. Night had already begun to fall and the streetlights outside flickered on. Every home had their kitchen lights shining, signaling dinnertime. I switched on the kitchen light and rinsed my mouth with cold water. The icy sting hit my wound and I hissed in pain, baring my teeth.

Looks like I’ll be stuck with liquid food until my wound heals. At least the kitchen still had a fridge. I opened it to find only a couple of tomatoes, some cucumbers and a few plain steamed buns. That was it.

Checking the cabinets, there wasn’t a drop of oil, no salt, vinegar or soy sauce—nothing. This kitchen was just for show. But on second thought, would someone like Zhao Mingkun really know how to cook? I had my doubts.

Just as I was wondering how to fill my stomach, I heard movement at the door—Zhao Mingkun was back.

I headed out, meaning to greet her, but then I saw Zhao Mingkun’s face twisted with anger. Before I could ask what happened, she was already barking, “Turn off the light.”

“Huh?” I froze for a second, not getting it.

She repeated, “Turn off the light.”

Seeing how serious she looked, I didn’t really get it but still, I flicked the lights off. Instantly the room dropped into shadow. Only the fridge cast a faint blue glow on the walls, chilly and dim. Zhao Mingkun and I just stood there, awkwardly silent.

I scratched my head. “What’s so bad about turning on the light?”

Zhao Mingkun finally set the plastic bags she was carrying on the floor and said, “You’re just at the very start of your life on the run. If you don’t want to wake up with handcuffs on, you’ll need to learn a lot more. First rule—never leave a trace.”

As she spoke she pulled a cloth from her inner pocket and started wiping down the light switch and fridge handle. “Second, never ever turn on the lights. Any light could give away our location, you get me?”

I shrugged. “Aren’t you overthinking it a bit? We just got here.”

While unpacking her bags Zhao Mingkun said, “Well, seven years passed in a blink and I’m still out here. You know how many people want to catch me. But none of them have ever gotten even a glimpse.”

I frowned, watching her. Now I understood why there was nothing in this house. Every purchase left a trail, especially big things like furniture. A shop would have a record of every sale. To stay invisible, you just couldn’t buy anything at all.

But living like this—wasn’t it just too cautious, too suffocating?

As Zhao Mingkun bustled about, I finally asked, “Aren’t you tired of this?”

She paused, not looking back, and said, “Of course I’m tired. But if I didn’t live like this, how else could I live? Maybe life’s just meant to be suffering. I once heard people say everyone has a fixed share of hardships and happiness in their life. But when’s the end of our hardships?”

She turned to look at me, like she hoped I had an answer. But I was seven or eight years younger than her—how was I supposed to know? All I could do was sigh and say, “Maybe some of us are here to atone for something. Living is just a form of suffering.”

“Living is just suffering, but I don’t even have the courage to die and end it all.” Zhao Mingkun pulled out a small bottle. “We’re pretty pathetic, aren’t we? Open up.”

I had no words, so I just opened my mouth like she asked.

A cool spray of liquid hit my tongue. It tasted medicinal.

Warmth bloomed in my chest. “Didn’t think you’d bother buying medicine for me—you’re pretty thoughtful.”

Zhao Mingkun fished two servings of congee from another bag, handed one to me and kept one for herself. “Here—dinner.”

“Is this all you’re eating tonight?” I asked.

She went silent, then a small smile appeared. “Well yeah, as a woman it’s always a top priority to watch your figure. It sounds funny, doesn’t it? Sometimes I wonder, will I ever get to fall in love or be a bride, just once in my life?”

I waved her off, shrugging. “Face reality, sis. You’ve got time to think about that?”

I took a sip of the congee—it was cold. Clearly she’d bought it that way on purpose so it wouldn’t irritate my wound.

I said, “Doesn’t matter what you say this time, I have to find out the truth about my parents.”

Hearing that, Zhao Mingkun sat down on the floor and said, “You sure got sharper.”

I sat down too and said, “Go ahead. What do you really know about my parents?”

“Since you’ve made up your mind, I won’t drag it out.” She paused. “Honestly, I don’t know much. What do you know about your parents? Why don’t you tell me first?”

I set my congee on the floor and started recalling. “When I was really little, I was abandoned. All I had with me was a note—the tone made it sound like my mom wrote it. She couldn’t wait for my dad to get out, so she left me at the door.”

Zhao Mingkun didn’t say anything, just kept sipping her cold congee.

I went on, “The pathetic part is, they checked the DNA of every male inmate at the time—not one matched my father. Everyone said my mom was an idiot, couldn’t even remember her own man. You know how it is—how could you ever trace it with so many people involved…”

Saying that, helplessness flooded through me. I paused, then continued, “My mom said she couldn’t wait for my dad. Probably, he was already dead. I know I was abandoned, and still, I want to ask her what I did so wrong that she had to leave me.”

I could feel myself trembling. I forced myself to hold back anger, pain and sadness and said, “I really want to ask them—if they weren’t willing to be parents, why have me? And if they decided to keep me, why just throw me away?”

After holding it in for so many years, all those feelings burst out. Even though I tried hard to keep it together, the tears came like a flood. In that moment, I was just a helpless kid who couldn’t hold it in anymore.

I’d never told anyone about any of this before, but with Zhao Mingkun, it felt like I couldn’t hide anything.

She pulled a few tissues from her pocket and handed them to me. “But what if I told you your parents weren’t like you think?” she said.

While wiping my tears I asked, “What do you mean?”

Zhao Mingkun watched me blow my nose and drop the tissue in the bag before saying, “Haven’t you ever thought this whole thing seems a bit strange? What kind of mother could forget where her husband was?”

I nodded, tugging at my hair. “Exactly. You mean maybe it wasn’t just my mother slipping up? Something must’ve happened that forced her to act that way. And you—do you know what it was?”

She took a sip of congee, then answered, “I don’t know what happened back then. But from what I’ve investigated, your parents aren’t like what you described. I’m not sure about the details, but if you ever learn the truth about who your parents really are, you’ll want to go digging. And the truth—it might not be so pretty.”

Curiosity burned in me. I desperately wanted to know my true background and what really happened.

I said, “Sometimes ignorance is a blessing, but the truth, no matter how dark, is still the truth. So if my parents weren’t criminals, why is it after twenty years they’ve never even come to see me? Why have they never looked for me?”

Zhao Mingkun was quiet for a while, then stood up. “You know, there are two kinds of people in this world who live in the dark.”

Her words sent clarity through my mind. I asked, “You mean… my parents were…”

For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. After a pause, I managed, “Undercover agents?”