Chapter 311: A Marriage of Convenience

2022-05-20

“Yeah.” Xu Man nodded seriously.

“And then?” I pressed on.

Xu Man glanced at the people standing nearby, clearly reluctant to share these personal details in front of them. Brother Feng, despite his flair for showing off, was quick-witted. He realized Xu Man would never open up with an audience, so he made a polite gesture to me and said, “Alright then, I’ll leave you two to talk. The rest of us will clear out. You’re always welcome to drop by, brother.”

With that, Brother Feng led everyone out of the room.

I nodded, then looked at Xu Man, signaling for her to go on.

That night, Xu Man didn’t find Hu Pei or Lü Zhiqiu. In that moment, her heart gave out. She turned around and started heading home. The area around the construction site wasn’t bustling back then—there wasn’t a soul on the street, not a single car passing by. The faint, yellow streetlights stretched her shadow out long behind her as she wandered aimlessly towards her rented apartment.

Xu Man moved like she was in a trance. Her pregnancy was far along, her belly huge—she could barely manage a few steps without having to stop and catch her breath. She shuffled on, sitting by the roadside whenever exhaustion took over. When she felt ready to move again, she kept going. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she walked, but then she’d remember the happy moments with Hu Pei and suddenly burst out laughing.

So, step by step, she walked forward, crying and laughing all the way. Along the road, Xu Man thought about ending her life three different times.

Once, after walking so far her belly ached unbearably, she seriously considered jumping off the bridge, letting the river’s dark current sweep her away. Another time, at dawn, she saw a stream of cars on the street. She didn’t even want to hail a cab—her mind wandered to the thought of rushing straight into traffic to end everything. The last time was when she unlocked the door to her rented room, accidentally putting the key in upside down. In that moment, it seemed easier just to throw herself off the building.

Yet, every time she was set on ending it all, another thought would hold her back: what if Hu Pei called her in the next moment? What if her parents suddenly forgave her? Each time, that faint glimmer of hope kept her from giving in, so she’d just quietly stuff those dark thoughts away and carry on with whatever needed to be done.

For years, Xu Man had thought she only survived for the child in her belly. But eventually, she understood she hadn’t dared to die simply because she was afraid. Facing death takes more courage than most people have, and for her, the unborn child simply gave her a more dignified excuse.

After a night’s sleep, Xu Man never thought about death again.

The following days, she had nothing—no one to take care of her, no money to hire anyone. When she hit rock bottom, she crossed paths with a ‘kind-hearted’ woman. At that moment, Xu Man desperately needed someone to look after her, and that woman just happened to show up.

After being battered by the world’s indifference, even the slightest kindness felt like a miracle. To Xu Man, this woman seemed like the best person on earth. Barely a month later, Xu Man gave birth to her child. Raising a child cost money she didn’t have, and she’d missed so many classes that the university had already expelled her.

In her early twenties, Xu Man now had a child to care for. She needed a job.

The helpful woman found Xu Man what she called a good job—one that paid a few hundred, even a thousand yuan in a single night. Tempted, Xu Man agreed to check it out. So that night, encouraged by the woman’s persuasive words and the haze of alcohol, Xu Man stumbled down a path she’d never return from.

Every beginning is hard, and this line of work was no exception. Xu Man instantly regretted it, but at last, she understood why that woman had appeared at just the right time to help. She realized there’s no such thing as a free lunch. People who show you kindness out of nowhere? It’s because you have something they can use.

With talk both persuasive and heartfelt, the woman, a ‘veteran’ of the trade, eventually brought Xu Man into the business. She found clients for Xu Man and took a 30 percent cut from every transaction. Soon Xu Man had a job—a job with no dignity. Later, she realized that when someone is willing to throw away their dignity, that’s the moment they start truly making money. Even fake beggars on the street could make over ten thousand yuan a month.

When Hu Pei finally decided to reach out, their child was already three months old.

By now, Xu Man had no feelings left for Hu Pei. Her days passed like a zombie, the child her one remaining anchor to reality.

Hu Pei never expected Xu Man had given birth to his child. He wanted to take the baby and raise it himself. But Xu Man couldn’t agree—the child was her only source of hope and comfort.

Hu Pei only needed two reasons to persuade her. First, he said, “At least you were admitted to Dongxing University. If this goes to court, they’ll award the child to the parent with a steady job.”

Xu Man had no argument against that.

But then Hu Pei said something that broke her resolve for good: “Do you really want our child to grow up and ask what you did for a living?”

That line was the final blow. Xu Man couldn’t let that happen—the child was innocent. She thought, maybe the logical thing would be for them to get married, but given her life now, there was no way Hu Pei would marry her.

For a moment, Xu Man found it all so strange. She was in shock—Hu Pei barged in, aggressive and self-righteous, silencing her as if this was all her fault. Like he hadn’t been the one who ran away when she most needed him, like he hadn’t disappeared when their child was helpless and alone.

Now, somehow, it was all on her. She was the one who felt tainted.

But what about when her daughter grew up? Would she be willing to listen to her mother’s side of the story, or would she only believe the father with the spotless reputation?

Xu Man was crushed.

Hu Pei got custody of their daughter. Later, Xu Man heard he’d married Jiang Xiaochun. Surprisingly, hearing that settled her heart—if it was Jiang Xiaochun, she could accept it. She never saw her daughter again. In her words, her daughter was living a good life—there was no reason for her to interfere.

I shook my head and asked, “If you’re so worried about what your daughter thinks of you, why not leave this line of work?”

Xu Man lit a slim cigarette, smoke curling up hazy in the dim light of the KTV.

After a long silence, she finally spoke: “I’ve been doing this for seven years now. When I started, I was fresh and in demand, but the longer I stayed, the harder it was to find work.”

She flicked away some ash. “Back then, I always told myself once I had enough tucked away, I’d quit. I just needed enough to get by. I still hear newbies say that all the time. But the reality is, once you get into this business, it’s not up to you anymore. Quitting is never that simple.”

She wiped her tears with her hand. “Think about it—what else could we do? After so long, I’ve gotten used to the nightlife. If I worked a regular job, it’d be too exhausting. I don’t know the first thing about business either, so what other options are there for me?”

Her voice was filled with sadness. “You start wanting ten thousand when you have one, a hundred thousand when you have ten. There’s never enough, and none of us really leave. The oldest of us are already forty—if we’re still in the business at this age, you can imagine why.”

“Fate, huh.”

Xu Man let out a heavy sigh, as if she could vent all her frustration through that one cigarette.

I shook my head ever so slightly.

Once Xu Man started talking about all this, it seemed she couldn’t stop: “Habits are terrifying. Once you form them, they’re impossible to break. There’s someone here—no parents, nothing—but now she owns a car, a home, and has saved up millions. Still, she can’t leave the business. She’s hooked. Her favorite hobby is driving along the streets, then tossing handfuls of cash out the window, watching a rain of bills as people scramble to pick them up.”

Xu Man burst out laughing. “And that’s when you realize—those people really aren’t so much more noble than us. No one is. We’re all selfish, we’re all putting on a mask. For all you know, the money you counted today was sticky with our sweat.”

I waved her words aside. “Let’s set that aside for now. Tell me—why is it that you could accept letting go if Hu Pei married Jiang Xiaochun? Did you know Jiang Xiaochun before?”

Xu Man nodded. “That’s right. If it’s Jiang Xiaochun, I have no problem. I’m only worried that if Hu Pei and his wife ever had a kid together, they wouldn’t treat my daughter well.”

I frowned. “So you’re saying Jiang Xiaochun can’t possibly have a kid with Hu Pei?”

Xu Man nodded emphatically. “Jiang Xiaochun went to our school too, same major as Hu Pei—we saw each other all the time. There’s no way she’d have a child with him. Their ‘marriage’ was probably just a marriage of convenience.”

“A marriage of convenience?” My eyes widened.

Xu Man said, “That’s right. Because Jiang Xiaochun likes women.”