Chapter 187: Scars of Memory

The snow fox, who had been puffing up its fur and pretending to be a snow bear to survive, finally relaxed.

Deon turned away, defeated by Ben’s insistence on fussing over the blood on his arm, and spoke casually. Despite his relaxed tone, his steps were now imbued with a natural elegance, as if ingrained by habit.

“I’m starting to count the promised half-day from now. If you want to rest longer, you’d better hurry and clean up.”

“……!”

The frozen demons became busy again.

Deon told them to settle down and rest somewhere suitable once they were done cleaning up, then he moved a little away from them. A spot just far enough to watch the commoners being eliminated before they could even reach him.

Still clutching the box to his chest, he sat on the stone where Dan had laid out a handkerchief and reached for a cigarette…

“No drugs, Sir Deon!”

…only to have it confiscated.

Red eyes turned to Ben, not bothering to hide their bewilderment.

“Weren’t you here to check my arm? You can see it’s fine at a glance, can’t you? You can leave now.”

“Ah, the signal from the mana stone necklace was cut off because your body transformed when you became a Hero. We need to extract blood again and make a new one…”

“I don’t think you need to. Even if I get hurt, I’ll heal quickly.”

He shrugged and gestured with his chin at the arm Dan was cleaning. Ben flinched at the sight of the uninjured arm revealed as the blood was wiped away.

“……I am Sir Deon’s physician.”

“That’s true, but you don’t need to cling to me and treat me as much as before.”

“But since I’m still responsible for Sir Deon’s health in the end, the need to know the patient’s condition in real-time hasn’t changed.”

“Whatever… do as you please.”

And here I was, thoughtfully trying to save you a wasted trip.

Most injuries will probably heal before Ben even arrives. But if he insists so much, I can’t stop him.

He obediently held out his cleanly wiped arm. Ben, full of vigor, poked it with a small knife, then briefly wore a blank expression.

“……It heals right away before blood even comes out.”

“I told you. I said you didn’t need to do it.”

“……I’ll make the wound a little deeper.”

After several attempts, he finally managed to draw blood. As he checked the arm that had healed instantly without needing to stop the bleeding, Ben, who I thought was about to leave, suddenly knelt down right in front of him.

That guy’s hand touched his thigh.

“You’ve been doing drugs the whole time I was gone, haven’t you?”

“…….”

“I asked you at least not to burn them out on your body. Would you mind if I checked?”

“No.”

“…….”

Ben’s expression hardened.

“You did, didn’t you.”

“It’s fine because it all healed when I became a Hero.”

“Sir Deon.”

Ben grabbed and lifted the exposed arm.

The arm, without wounds but covered in countless scars, was exposed to the light.

“Seeing this, it’s assumed that although the wounds you sustained when you became a Hero may have healed without leaving scars, the previous scars remain.”

You probably know best.

He conveyed the unspoken words with his eyes and let out a faint sigh at the lack of response.

“You’ve probably added another scar. No, maybe not just one, but several.”

“It’s just a scar. My body has been covered in scars since before I met you. What difference will a few more make?”

Frankly, I don’t understand why Ben is being so sensitive.

I understand that he might be sensitive as a physician when it comes to wounds. But these are already healed scars. And very small ones, cigarette burns.

Perhaps Ben sensed Deon’s question.

“Sir Deon.”

Ben frowned.

“Scars are memories.”

“…….”

“When a scar remains, every time you see it, you’ll recall the situation and emotions you felt when you got that wound. Since it’s a scar, it probably isn’t a pleasant memory.”

Moreover, the scars left on Deon’s thigh were left by none other than himself.

He’ll never forget what thoughts and emotions led him to do that.

I can’t presume to fathom Sir Deon’s inner thoughts… Ben, as a physician concerned about Deon Hart’s physical and mental health, boldly continued.

“Wounds caused by bad thoughts and emotions are enough to leave their mark on your mind.”

In fact, it’s not just enough, it’s probably already overwhelming. So.

“There’s no need to leave scars on your physical body. I don’t want bad memories etched onto Sir Deon’s body.”

“…….”

Silence fell.

I should have left my seat earlier. Dan glanced back and forth between Ben and Deon, gauging the atmosphere with a troubled look.

Suddenly, a thought occurred to me.

‘Master is receiving more love than he realizes.’

Though he probably thinks he’s alone.

To receive love while building walls like that, it’s truly remarkable.

Because Deon Hart doesn’t love himself, he doesn’t recognize or believe in the affection and goodwill of others directed toward him. Therefore, he cannot reciprocate that affection and goodwill. If such a situation persists, even the person showering him with emotions will become exhausted and leave, eventually leading to a state where he is truly unloved, which is a natural consequence.

‘Maybe… the reason Master has been able to endure until now is thanks to them.’

Thanks to this affection and consideration.

A brief silence passed. Deon, who had been staring at Ben with his mouth shut, finally closed his eyes and waved his hand dismissively.

“I want to rest for a bit.”

“……I’ll excuse myself for a moment.”

Ben glanced at Dan and stepped back.

Only after he moved far enough away that his voice wouldn’t reach did Dan roll his eyes and look back at Deon. He was taking out a black handkerchief from his chest and fiddling with it.

To change the atmosphere, he cautiously started talking.

“Your manner of speaking has changed again.”

“It’s back to normal. I’ve gotten stronger, haven’t I? Not just any strength, but I’ve become a Hero. I guess I don’t need to bother with dignity and all that crap anymore, right?”

“……Who said such a thing?”

“Senior.”

“Just as I thought…”

Dan groaned softly.

It’s not wrong. It’s not wrong, but…

‘What kind of things did Stigma say to make him think like that…’

“To give an extreme example, he said that if I had overwhelming power, I could hang from the chandelier in the Imperial Palace banquet hall and swing, and no one could say anything.”

“……It would be best to take his words with a grain of salt.”

I can’t tell him not to be friendly with him at all, so I have to say it like this.

Since no one is entitled to meddle in other people’s relationships, Dan spoke in a carefully softened way. Deon, who read his true feelings, chuckled.

“He’s a good person.”

“He’s probably only a good person to Master.”

“Well, that’s true, but.”

He shrugged lightly and tightly gripped the black handkerchief he had been fiddling with.

“……Fire.”

“Are you going to burn it?”

“Because I don’t need it anymore.”

“Handkerchiefs have many uses. It might be better to keep it, just in case.”

“If you decide I need a handkerchief, you can give me another one separately. For now, I’m going to burn this.”

“……Stubbornness.”

While grumbling and being sarcastic, Dan obediently produced a flame. Deon brought the handkerchief to the flame and held onto it as it blazed, until Dan, horrified, knocked it away, causing it to fall onto the snowy ground.

The remnants of the handkerchief crackled and faded pathetically on the snow. Red eyes, which had been staring at it blankly, turned to Dan, who was holding his hand and examining it here and there.

“Have you gone mad?! Just because you’ve become a Hero, you’re mistreating your body!”

“……What.”

I thought it would be better to hold it to burn it cleanly.

But if I say that, I’ll get even more nagging. Based on his past experiences and instincts, Deon chose to change the subject instead of making excuses.

“More than that, you must be happy.”

“……Huh?”

“My value has been confirmed. A Hero on the Demon King’s side. Where else could you find a more perfect disaster?”

Dan, who had been stubbornly keeping his mouth shut, briefly widened his eyes.

“……That’s right. Now that I think about it, the situation of disaster is confirmed.”

“……Don’t tell me you hadn’t even thought about it this way?”

“I had temporarily forgotten.”

“What if I wasn’t the being you wished for?”

“Well, isn’t that a meaningless hypothetical? In the current situation, it’s meaningless to think of Master and disaster separately. Whether I serve Master or serve disaster, I’m ultimately serving the same entity.”

He made a statement that was good for glossing over the topic and stopped.

Since it wasn’t the kind of thing to pry into or argue about, even with the hypothetical ‘what if’, Deon silently turned his gaze and took in the cleaned-up situation.

As if the commotion from just a moment ago was a lie, snow was piling up on the corpses against a backdrop of silence.

“……I didn’t know they would use religion like this.”

“Indeed… it’s a cruel method. I heard that the Salvation Church has instilled the idea that the Duke is salvation. Was it brainwashing for times like these?”

“That he himself is salvation.”

It’s too obvious.

A hollow laugh burst out at the blatant cult-like nature of it.

“It was probably bait to make them faithfully follow any orders I gave. And they used it so effectively.”

Cruel but useful method.

He stood up from his spot. Dan picked up the handkerchief he had laid down, and Deon turned to look at him, slightly raising the corner of his mouth.

“You should rest now. Once this rest is over, we’ll be running non-stop, so you’d better get as much rest as possible.”

“……Getting here was already no joke, and it’s going to be even worse than that…?”

“Of course. We wasted time getting here, didn’t we? The Duke seemed to be trying to buy time, and whatever it is, I can’t let him have his way. We’ll be running without sleep, so be prepared.”

“Good heavens.”

Dan groaned.

I don’t know why, but it makes me feel good to see that guy suffering. Leaving Dan, who was silently screaming in despair, Deon suppressed the corners of his mouth that kept wanting to lift and said what he had originally intended to say.

He was still holding the box tightly in his arms.

“If you don’t like it, going back to the Demon Realm wouldn’t be a bad option.”

“I will follow Master to the end… Ha, I can’t even say that as lip service.”

Dan slapped his own mouth shut and opened it again.

“It’s true that returning would be helpful for my survival in another sense, but I won’t go back like this. I have my pride too.”

“I have a task for you.”

“Ah, if that’s the case.”

Without hesitation.

Dan grinned and straightened his posture as if to say, ‘Command me.’ Deon stared at him silently instead of immediately giving orders.

Previously, he had loathed receiving the box containing the head of the King of Rweche’s brother. Even though it was just a matter of holding it for a moment, he had openly shown his aversion. Could such a guy really carry out what I’m about to order properly?

But even so, this guy is the only one I can trust and entrust this to.

“……Take this to my room in the Demon Realm and keep it safe.”

He held out the box he had been holding in his arms.

“Of course, there must be no damage or problems during transport, and no shock should be applied.”

“…….”

“Ah, and while you’re there, tell Develania to find Cruel Hart’s body by any means necessary.”

As someone who witnessed his last moments and was saved thanks to him, and as the only remaining blood relative in this world, Deon vowed to recover Cruel Hart’s body at all costs.

That’s why he can’t take this to the capital of the Empire. If he were to lose or damage it, it would be one more thing he could never forgive himself for. He might really collapse then.

The smile vanished from Dan’s face.

“Thoroughly, in this exact condition.”

He reached out his hand and received the box. Not a hint of reluctance was visible.

“I will escort it to Master’s room.”

“……Alright.”

Dan politely took the box and lightly bowed his head.

He knows what this means to Master. He’s also heard and knows how the person inside died. In such a situation, he wouldn’t show aversion simply because it’s ‘a box containing a head’, would he?

This is someone who must never be treated carelessly. Dan knew how to maintain at least basic decency and courtesy.

“Thank you.”

Deon said, as if whispering.”