Chapter 35: Hesitant Hearts

“Send it! Come on, send it!” she shouted, her fingers poised over the send button.

Lily headed to the sink and filled it with hot water, then untied her double ponytails and set the hair tie on her phone nearby.

Her phone still showed the chat with Lin Zheng Ran.

But the message in the dialog box—”Lin Zheng Ran, today is my birthday…”—remained unsent.

With her long hair falling over her shoulders, Lily stared at her tired, pale face in the mirror and sighed, “No wonder that big idiot always says I shout all the time. Maybe he was right. What am I even doing?”

She washed her hair and dried it off.

While blow-drying, a sudden idea struck her—she tied her waist-length hair into a single ponytail and checked herself in the mirror.

She clasped her hands in front, mimicking a pure-hearted girl.

Her face flushed, she held the mirror as if it were someone else: “Big idiot… today is my birth…” Then, with her eyes closed and heart pounding, she added, “I don’t need you to come, but I just happened to find two movie tickets!”

Lily stared blankly at her reflection and muttered, “The ending’s the same as always. So it’s not about the hairstyle?”

She tied her hair back into double ponytails, deciding single ones didn’t suit her, then sat on the sofa and picked up her phone to search a phrase she’d looked up years ago on Baidu.

“What is tsundere?”

Baidu’s response was still: [An ancient god!]

The younger Lily had ignored the “ancient era” part and only saw “god,” thinking it was a high praise, but now she wondered why it was called an ancient god.

She searched: “Why is tsundere called an ancient god?”

Baidu displayed:

[Why is tsundere called an ancient god? Because this personality was once very popular. A girl’s playful resistance, shyness, and tough words were seen as cute to boys

but it has a fatal flaw—if tsundere goes too far, the person can never make the first move or take that crucial step, giving others an opening. In the end, it leads to missed chances, separation, and letting go of the one you love.]

Lily’s dull eyes suddenly trembled at this explanation, especially at the word “separation.”

Her eyes widened, perhaps from a sleepless night that left her exhausted.

In a flash, her mind flickered with scenes that hadn’t happened in reality.

In those visions, Lin Zheng Ran and Heqing played and grew close, hugging, kissing, living together—while she, too hesitant, watched the distance grow until she sat alone at their wedding.

“Wishing you both a joyful marriage!!”

Suddenly, a crowd downstairs in the residential area shouted the words.

Lily jolted from her daze, her eyes blurring as tears fell—she wiped them away with her arm.

She rushed to the balcony to see a couple about to get married receiving blessings from their friends in the residential area.

Through teary, red eyes, she stared at the happy couple.

In a haze, she imagined them as an older Lin Zheng Ran and Heqing, and almost called out:

“Big idiot, don’t!”

Snapping back, Lily stood frozen, gazing at the strangers below, then slowly clenched her fists, gritted her teeth, and her eyes turned resolute.

She seemed to make a firm decision, turned, and dashed out of her home.

Her lively double ponytails bounced with each tense step as she hurried downstairs, mirroring her inner turmoil.

On the way down, Lily pulled out her phone, found Lin Zheng Ran’s number, and called without hesitation.

He answered quickly.

Lin Zheng Ran sounded bored: “Yeah? What’s up?”

Lily shouted: “Big idiot! You’re home, right? Come downstairs now—I need to talk to you!”

“What is it? I just got back from the supermarket and was about to…”

“I’ll come to you—just wait downstairs for a bit!” she cut in.

Lily hung up and sprinted toward Lin Zheng Ran’s place, the visions from earlier crystal clear in her mind.

It felt like that could be her future if she kept hesitating—wiping away tears as she ran, her gaze grew even more determined ahead.

Big idiot, even if we end up apart, I need to hear you say you don’t like me—not just let you go to someone else.

Crossing the crossroads between them, Lin Zheng Ran stood at the residential area’s entrance, bags in hand.

Seeing Lily rush up, out of breath, he asked curiously, “What’s the big hurry? Something urgent?”

As soon as she saw Lin Zheng Ran, Lily’s racing heart slowed a bit.

She slowed her steps, hid the movie tickets behind her back, and steadied her breathing as she approached him.

Lin Zheng Ran asked, “Well? What’s going on?”

A blush crept over Lily’s face—her tsundere nature kicking in. She knew Lin Zheng Ran’s personality; even if she gave him the tickets, he probably wouldn’t go, since he hated pointless things like that, which was why she couldn’t speak up before.

But

“Big idiot!” she burst out, startling him, as she thrust her arms forward with eyes shut and mind blank: “Will you come to the movies with me?”

She’d said it.

Even she was shocked at herself—opening her eyes, she felt utterly embarrassed under his surprised stare.

Lily quickly hid the tickets behind her back again, turned her head away, and stammered with a flushed face:

“What I mean is, I just found two movie tickets in the trash. If we don’t use them, it’d be a waste.”

She forced a laugh, trying to save face, her fingers clenched tight in nervousness:

“Though wasting them isn’t a big deal—it’s just some cheesy romance flick that even kids wouldn’t watch these days. Whether we go or not doesn’t matter much.”

She paused, then looked back at him softly: “Could you come with me, though? I know you probably won’t agree anyway.”

Lin Zheng Ran’s shocked expression softened as he took a deep breath and grabbed the tickets from her hand: “Is that all? Just this little thing?”

“Huh?” Lily was confused.

“Tiny… little…” she stuttered, feeling insulted, leaning forward with clenched fists in futile anger:

“Little thing?! You call this little? Do you know how hard it was for me to say that? Big idiot! Big oaf! How does anyone even like you? Even if you don’t want to go, you could at least…”

Lin Zheng Ran said: “I can go with you, you know.”

A car drove by on the road.

Lily stopped mid-rant, her mind blank, staring at him in disbelief: “What did you say?”

Lin Zheng Ran replied gently: “I said I’ll go with you. It’s your birthday today, right? This can be my half-gift to you.”