Chapter 20: How to Worship the Internet God?

‘Huff… Huff…’

The boy’s rapid and heavy breathing made his lungs dry and burning. Each gulp of air felt like a searing pain.

Yet, the boy kept running desperately. The physical pain couldn’t suppress the wild joy on his young face.

The ground in the slums was wet and slippery. As his foot landed, some unknown mix of substances squelched between his toes, making it hard to grip the surface.

He slipped and fell, landing face-first into the mud, covering himself in filth.

But he didn’t hesitate at all. He got up and continued running frantically.

Finally, he reached his destination.

It was a narrow alley, lined on both sides with shanty dwellings made of stone, wood, and piles of straw.

Though the place seemed small, countless houses were crammed together. Every winter, one or two would collapse under the weight of snow.

People were coming and going along the narrow passage.

‘Huff… Huff…’

The boy propped his hands on his knees, taking several deep breaths. After catching his breath, he shouted hysterically, ‘Big news! Huff… The great magician Theodore said… From now on, all of us can practice magic!’

With the boy’s hysterical shout, the shantytown fell silent.

Countless people turned to look.

A moment later, the whole shantytown erupted in laughter.

‘Hahahaha…’

‘Mud kid must have stolen some money from the mercenaries and got beaten stupid!’

‘You little fool, are you messing with us? You’re asking for a beating!’

Laughter and scolding echoed throughout the shantytown.

‘It’s true… I’m not lying!’

The boy was dumbfounded. Already flushed from running, his face turned even redder.

‘Don’t run around aimlessly. Help your mother with some work.’

‘Exactly, all you do is steal chickens and sneak around all day.’

The neighbors began scolding him.

‘I didn’t! I’m telling the truth! Master Theodore said it himself in front of the magic tower!’ The boy was jumping up and down in desperation, explaining frantically, but no one believed him. After all, he had a bad reputation.

No, it should be said that what he said was too ridiculous.

Magic was always something only noble lords could practice. How could these lowly commoners ever qualify to learn it?

The neighbors’ mocking caused his mother to rush over in anger. She grabbed his ear and dragged him back home.

All the way home, the boy saw Old Second Grandpa grinning at him with his yellow teeth; Bucktooth Uncle threw trash at him; and Pretty Auntie, in her disheveled clothes, leaned out of the window, giggling at him.

The boy panicked.

Suddenly, an idea struck him, and he shouted loudly:

‘Oh mighty being from Azure Star, you are the master of language and writing! You are the pioneer of the Internet! Under your protection, I shall connect with all living things!’

As soon as he finished speaking, a scroll glowing faintly with light appeared before him.

At that moment, the uproar in the entire alley was cut off!

……

……

In a dilapidated courtyard temporarily converted into a school, there was a dense crowd of people.

Upon closer inspection, almost all of them had rough, dark skin and were dressed in patchy linen clothes, so dirty it was hard to tell how long it had been since they were last washed.

It was clear that most of them were from nearby low-class families.

At that moment, the scene was chaotic, like a noisy marketplace.

The children huddled at the front, while the adults stood at the back, chatting away, spitting and showing their yellowing teeth.

‘Old Cabbage Head, you came to learn how to read too?’

‘Yep!’

‘Let me tell you, learning magic at our age isn’t easy!’

‘Yeah, I didn’t come thinking I’d learn magic. I just want to see if I can pick up some Battle Qi, improve my health, and work better! If nothing else, it would be nice to check out the Empire’s official website. I hear Long-Sleeved Suan say there’s so much interesting stuff on there.’

‘Yep, I’ve heard from the literate folks in the village. I always thought the Empire was just the Emperor, the lords, and the magicians. Who knew there was so much more to it.’

While the adults talked about practical matters, the kids were arguing heatedly over who was the strongest!

‘The Archmages are the strongest! The three Archmages are the most powerful in our Empire!’

‘Nonsense, the Internet God is the most powerful! He’s a true deity.’

‘Archmages are gods too! They’re the greatest among magicians, even more powerful than Lord Gambirin!’

‘Still, the Internet God is the strongest.’

‘Then tell me, what can the Internet God do? Can he control fire? Can he summon ice spears? Can he make the earth open up?’

‘He… he controls the Internet! Go ahead, try going without using the Internet!’

‘Yeah, if you have the guts, don’t go online. Don’t use the Internet to learn magic.’

‘All the magic on the Internet belongs to the Internet God, so he must be the strongest.’

While the children were arguing fiercely, someone suddenly shouted ‘Silence!’.

‘Silence, silence! The teacher is here!’

Accompanied by the shout, the noisy courtyard immediately fell silent.

A proud-looking young man stepped onto the stone platform serving as the lecture stage.

He looked down with disdain at the eager commoners below. To be honest, if teaching wasn’t considered an official position, with a stipend and a monthly internet bonus of 200 points, he would never have come to teach these lowly peasants!

However, as he looked at the reverent, yearning expressions in their eyes, he suddenly felt a sense of vanity.

He thought, maybe coming here to teach isn’t so bad. At least it’s better than being treated like a dog in the Lord Mayor’s residence.

……

……

Under the shade of the Silver Star Tree, an elderly couple carefully opened a letter that was sent via a mercenary service.

It was a letter from their son.

After two months of waiting, they had finally received a letter, but it only contained a single piece of paper.

Unlike his usual letters, it didn’t talk about everyday matters. Instead, it mentioned something about ‘Internet Divine Magic’.

Honestly, if the town’s magicians hadn’t sent people to shout about it along the streets every day, the old couple might have worried that their son had been bewitched by some evil god.

‘Our boy sent us his soul ID!’

The old man shouted in delight to his wife.

‘What? What’s a soul ID?’

‘It’s that… that personal code on the Internet… Ah, forget it, you wouldn’t understand. Just wait a minute!’

The old man explained briefly, then slowly recited the prayer recorded in the letter, which was the same phrase the town’s magicians had been preaching for the past few days.

As he chanted, the iconic Phantom Scroll of the Internet unfurled before him.

Following the instructions in his son’s letter, it took him half an hour to add his son’s account.

After repeatedly confirming he hadn’t entered the wrong number, he clicked the confirm virtual button. Within seconds, the Internet’s social network responded that the other party had accepted.

Before the old man had time to figure out what to do next,

a small strip of Virtual Parchment suddenly popped up on the Phantom Scroll.

On the parchment was his son’s unique soul mark. Below it were two text options: one [Reject] and one [Accept].

The old man clicked [Accept].

In an instant, a voice came through, causing his eyes to blur.

‘Father, is that you?’

‘Ah, is that our boy?’ Though the old man didn’t speak, his wife grabbed him and raised her voice in excitement.

‘Mom, it’s me.’

‘Oh my, where are you now? Why can’t I see you?’ The old woman exclaimed, looking around the yard.

‘I’m in Camp Harbor!’

‘Ah, you’re still there? Then how does your voice sound like you’re right here in the yard?’

‘Haha, Mom, this is the Internet Divine Magic’s voice call. From now on, we can talk every day!’

‘What? Internet Divine Magic? Isn’t that the thing the town’s magicians keep talking about every day?’

The old woman glanced at her husband, who replied, ‘Yes, it’s exactly that thing.’

The elderly couple and their son marveled at the Internet Divine Magic for a while before changing topics to discuss the son’s work.

They were thrilled to learn that their son was doing well under Old Burt and had recently started practicing magic. He had even managed to gather soul power and received praise from Old Burt. This made the old couple incredibly happy.

‘Mom, Dad, I have to go to work now. Let’s talk tonight. Oh, and be sure to go to the Magic Item Store to order a Mithril Ring for the Internet. The prayer login time is too short.’

‘Alright, alright. You take care, son. Don’t scrimp, buy yourself some meat.’ The old woman leaned toward the communication interface, raising her voice as if afraid her son wouldn’t hear.

‘Okay, okay, I got it, Mom.’

Beep!

The call ended, and the Virtual Parchment on the Phantom Scroll vanished. The elderly couple stood there in silence for a long time.

After a while, the old woman wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and hoarsely asked, ‘Old man, how do you suppose we should worship the Internet God?’