Chapter 501: Youth Is Great

Chapter 501: Youth Is Great (Update 4)

He fed his unlucky apprentice a few more lines of smooth talk before sending him on his way.

Xiao Yu stepped out of the Criminal Investigation Team, ready to have a smoke and clear his head.

Staring at the bustling street, he noticed that the awkward season had returned.

Awkward? How so?

Just imagine: a man in a dress shirt and another in a padded jacket brushing past each other.

They exchanged a quick, disdainful glance, each silently cursing the other.

May in Bincheng is just that awkward!

After flicking away his cigarette butt, Xiao Yu pulled out his phone and dialed Wang Dong’s number.

“Yo, Detective Xiao.”

Wang Dong’s teasing voice crackled through the phone, “Heard you’re on leave these days?”

“Who told you that? I’m known as the workaholic little gentleman. I just love working.”

Xiao Yu scoffed, “I’ve got my pride—I don’t want people saying I survive solely on my looks!”

“480”  ”…”

Wang Dong was taken aback for three seconds by his little brother’s shameless banter, “You can really brag like that?”

“Cut the crap.”

Xiao Yu asked, “How’s the case coming along?”

“Nearly wrapped up.”

Wang Dong reported, “All thirteen corpses have been identified, along with the two main culprits and an accomplice. The only hitch is that one of the main perpetrators is mentally ill… Oh, and the boss said the case counts as a first-class merit.”

After a brief chat with his buddy, he hung up.

Once he starts a case, Xiao Yu ensures he sees it through to the end.

At that moment, the system notification for a completed task echoed in his mind…

Xiao Yu glanced at the blue sky and white clouds, feeling exceptionally upbeat.

If his unlucky apprentice hadn’t bothered him, he’d be in even better spirits.

“Master!”

Wang Cheng appeared at his side with a forlorn expression.

Xiao Yu forced a smile, “Not entirely my fault, you know. Who would have thought you’d actually dare to call your partner a bastard!”

Wang Cheng: …

Is that really the way to do it?

“Don’t get discouraged.”

Xiao Yu patted his apprentice’s shoulder, “When life cheats you, don’t rush—instead, use a beauty filter to turn the tables on life!”

“But right now it isn’t life cheating me.”

Wang Cheng was beside himself, “I feel like I’ve been tricked by you!”

“Ah, geez… yeah!”

Xiao Yu, more awkward than ever, asked, “So what do you propose we do?”

“Master, you need to teach me how to win her back,” Wang Cheng replied dejectedly.

Xiao Yu shook his head, “Kids these days break up on Valentine’s Day and confess on April Fool’s Day. Wanna know why?”

“Huh?” Wang Cheng looked utterly confused.

“Because it’s all just a game.”

Xiao Yu smirked, “She wouldn’t break up over one little spat—it’s just a bit of moodiness. This is the time to sweet-talk her.”

“I’ve wanted to, but she’s ignoring me right now,” Wang Cheng fretted.

“Then you just have to play along.”

Xiao Yu laughed at his apprentice, “Your WeChat already blocked her. You can’t even send a text or make a call. Want to test if she’s truly mad? Just tell her you’re hurt.”

“But…” Wang Cheng stammered in disbelief, “Isn’t that deceiving her?”

“Who said it’s a lie? It’s a well-intentioned little white lie.”

In a serious tone, Xiao Yu explained, “If she really didn’t care, she wouldn’t be worried about whether your hand is hurt, right?”

“Yeah,” Wang Cheng nodded.

“And if she’s only faking anger, it’ll be an easy fix.”

Xiao Yu continued, “She’ll be curious about your injury. Then you say, ‘Add me on WeChat and I’ll send you a video.’ Record yourself showing your hand, then make a heart shape with your hand, and tell her you love her… Even if she knows you tricked her, she’ll still be happy.”

“Damn, Master, your tricks are on another level.”

Wang Cheng, a bit startled, asked, “You don’t mean you’re a player, right?”

“Screw that.”

Xiao Yu playfully scolded, “I’d love to be a heartbreaker, but my mom and your stepmother would kill me if I did!”

Wang Cheng, curious, asked, “Then where did you learn all these tricks?”

Xiao Yu replied with a grin, “I saw a video online just a few days ago that nailed it.”

He continued, “For example, why do so many girls get deceived by guys for so long? It’s because their demands can only be met by a scammer—an average guy just doesn’t make the cut.”

“Damn.”

Wang Cheng was astonished, “That actually sounds pretty convincing… Is that how you handle your stepmother too?”

Xiao Yu nearly choked on his spit, “Cough, cough, cough!”

“Trick Mu Qingwu?”

“Stop messing around—anyone can fool her with that level of smarts!”

“Messing with Mu Qingwu is practically asking for trouble!”

In front of his apprentice, Xiao Yu’s self-righteous display didn’t quite match his imagination…

Xiao Yu couldn’t shake the feeling he’d turned into a giant panda…

“What’s wrong, Master? Did I say something wrong?” asked Wang Cheng, confused.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

Xiao Yu changed the subject, “Young people need to learn to think for themselves instead of asking everyone else. Is your brain just there for decoration?”

“I’m using it! I’m not dumb, okay?”

Wang Cheng, indignant, boasted, “I can recite Journey to the West backwards and even know some behind-the-scenes stories. Ask me if you don’t believe it!”

Xiao Yu smirked, “Reciting backwards and knowing all the behind-the-scenes tales? You really are full of hot air.”

Xiao Yu then said, “Alright, I’ll give you a test.”

“Bring it on,” Wang Cheng replied, puffing his chest out.

“Listen carefully.”

Xiao Yu asked with a smile, “When the Nine-Headed Insect and the Princess Wan Sheng kissed, what were the other eight heads doing?”

Wang Cheng: …

Wang Cheng opened his mouth in stunned disbelief, as if he’d seen a ghost.

He thought, ‘How on earth did Master come up with that question?’

“That question leads us to the next one,” Xiao Yu explained with a mischievous grin.

He continued, “Tell me, why would Princess Wan Sheng choose the Nine-Headed Insect over the Little White Dragon?”

Wang Cheng looked as if he’d been struck by lightning, speechless.

Then, “For instance, what’s the birthday of the Bone Spirit’s Aunt?”

Next, “How many people are there in Tripitaka’s group?”

Then, “How does Erlang Shen do his eye exercises?”

After that, “After Sun Wukong was suppressed for 500 years, when he couldn’t move, where did he… you know?”

Next up, “Does Lord Lei and Lady Lei use AC or DC?”

Then, “How often does Tripitaka get his hair done?”

Followed by, “How do you recite the Tightening Spell?”

“…”

Faced with Xiao Yu’s barrage of questions, Wang Cheng was completely overwhelmed.

It felt like thunder was rolling in—his scalp buzzing and his brain humming.

“Back in the day, when I used to brag like you, I was mercilessly humbled by reality more times than I can count.”

Xiao Yu, expression calm, patted his goofy-looking apprentice on the shoulder.

“Ah, the joys of youth!”